Holy cow! I'm in BLEACH!
by Miss Tuesday
Summary: Hi! My name's Yuri..ok no it's not, my real name's Gale but I like Yuri better so suck up!And... I fainted. Yeah... I'm currently dreaming Im in bleach! it IS a dream...right? CRACKFIC
1. Chapter I :HOLY COW!

Hi! This is my first Bleach story so please be nice!  
I don't quite know what pairings I'm gonna do but I'm hesitating between my dearest love Byakuya (aka the ice block) and Hitsugaya (aka the midget)!

Message me if its worth continuing and if you prefer one guy or the other! -grins wildly-

Oh! AND DON'T FORGET! I'M CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZY! MUAHAHAHAHA

* * *

I slapped my hand to my face.

« Oh god…this is a Komamura pairing…this is a fox-guy and an OFC love story…" I muttered, banging my head on my desk.

I looked up again, closed my window and checked the second story I'd put aside.

My eyes widened and I burst out laughing.

"Holy cow! Renji and Shuuhei fighting for Ichigo?! WILL THEY SHARE THE PRIZE?!" I sniggered and rolled on the floor.

"Oh god…" I couldn't stop laughing. If I was ever sent into Bleach I wasn't sure I could suppress the need to laugh when I met up with my favourite characters!

Not to mention Byakuya…the amount of stories between him and Rukia!

Talk about incest!

I sniggered and got back on my chair.

I wiped my tears of mirth and took a bite from my Mars bar.

And moaned…damn I love chocolate!

I smirked at my screen. "Uno kane diiiihe!" I chanted gibberish, my chocolate high making me act like a moron again.

"See teh ab no DIIIIINE!" I made stupid hand gestures, like in Naruto and suddenly…I fainted.

God…I always prided myself in never showing my tears and never, EVER fainting…and now I fainted because of my sugar rush…pfff.

I opened my eyes…and shrieked. There stood over me a girl with tresses meeting at her neck and joining to fall down past the height of her hips. And she had black robes…and a Zanpaktu…and she had a motherly aura about her…

"HOLY COW! I'M IN BLEACH!"

And I fainted again.

* * *

Short and to the point as my muse always says!

SO READ AND MESSAGE YOU MORONS!

...come sweethearts you know you want to...even if you're too lazy (-mutters-)...


	2. Chapter II : HotTraitorAssedkun

Thanks :

- M a i r 9 5 1 2 - NEAT! Sure! ...how do you become a beta? And what do I do:)

- UchihaKinakae - Thanks! Never thought anyone would review...!

So if there ARE loosers willing to review! Please do:! But be warned, flames will be used to make gooey marshmallow!

MUAHAHAHA

* * *

"HOLY COW! I'M IN BLEACH!" 

And I fainted again.

* * *

When I once again woke up I was alone...but where on earth was I? 

Ohhh! I remember...I'm still in my dream! Yai! I can do anything I want in a dream! oooooh the evil thoughts of what I could do and say too my favourite characters!

I sniggered evilly as I looked around.

Curtains were pulled around my plain white and comfy bed and I wondered if I should stay and sleep or get up and look around.  
I opted for the latter, I don't really like sticking around and doing nothing.

I looked to the side and saw my clothes neatly folded on a chair. Frowning I looked down at myself.

"WHAAAAAAAAT! THESE PERVERTS UNDRESSED ME AND PUT ME IN A FREAKY SEE THROUGH GOWN!" I shrieked.

A girl in black robes, hair in a bun, visibly a shinigami came running in.  
"Miss! Are you alright?"

I only looked at her. Did I look alright?!

The girl cringed...oops...did I say that out loud?

The same woman from when I woke up the first time appeared.

I gulped visibly. This might be a dream but I was still intimidated...

"How are you feeling?" The woman asked softly, looking me over professionally, looking my arms, stomach and neck over for some weird reason.

"Uhhh...fine! It's not like I was attacked by a dragon that tried to chew my arm off and I 'happened'" I put my fingers in quotes "to have marks appear on my neck or anything!" I finished happily, smiling.

The pale face of the girl who run in first and the grave look on the woman's face made my smile fall.

"This is a joke right?"

For all response...the woman handed me a mirror.

I looked at my neck and couldn't help the nervous giggle coming up.

I had a weird inky-type tattoo of a..a..A DRAGON?! It was quite nice...BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT!

"Very good joke. Honestly; I almost fell for it." I stated, still chuckling nervously and I hastily tried to rub away the mark.

It HAD to be ink or something. When it wasn't fading or anything I wet my finger and franticaly rubbed it.

Finally a soft hand stilled my movements and I looked up at the woman with tear filled eyes.

"Am i going to become a Mary-Sue?" I asked in fear, tears choking me.

Her face softened and she pulled me in an uncharacteristic hug.

I'm not sure she'd understood me but I accepted the hug all the same and bit my lip to keep from crying. I hated crying. I NEVER cried.

What was this woman's name already? Ohh...yeah...

"Thanks...Unohana." I whispered.

She seemed slightly surprised at my nowing her name but she didn't comment and instead nodded her head.

"What's you're name?" She asked softly. I yawned. "Yuri." My eyes were slowly closing

After this exhausting event I decided a nap was welcome...and I promptly fell asleep, still in her hug.

My eyes opened to be greeted by darkness. I blinked. Nope. Still dark.

"Geez! Who turned off my PC lamp?" I grumbled, sure that I was now back in my bed and that my dream was over.

"I SO gotta write down what happened in my dream! This is gonna be won..." I had jumped out of bed and my shin had hit something. In the middle of my room? What could I have possibly not put away that was so big?

I felt it up and down. A table. Hmm...With something sitting atop of it. I shrugged and reached down to check my pocket for my phone...when I realized that I wasn't wearing my usual sleeping pants but a weird light nightgown thing...

All my body fell limp. "Yes!" I kick jumped, punching the air. "Chaaaaa! I'm still in my dream!"

I grabbed what I guessed were my clothes and shrugged them on as best I could in the dark.

This was when I missed my neat phone to shed some light on what I was putting on.

I was finally dressed in what had appeared to be a TINY shirt and my favourite black buckle pants. (I could recognize those ANYWHERE...you know, neither rain, sleet, snow... XD)

I let my fingers glide along the wall until I felt drapes. I tugged and revealed a small window and a full moon.

I grinned and tried to open it. It wouldn't. They'd locked me in?! I was slightly claustrophobic...imagine what that thought made me feel.

I yelped in panic and...smashed the window.

"It was that kid there! I swear I didn't do anything!" I whisper-screamed, frozen up to see if anyone was going to come running.

Then I dismissed that stupid idea and decided that it would be better if I disappeared the fastest possible!

I crawled out, cutting my arms a bit but I didn't mind. I was always climbing trees, visiting old rundown houses so scratches and what not weren't really new to me.

I breathed in a deep breath of fresh air.

"Aaaaaaaah. Let us go, dream self, to explore this fine...whatever this is!" I declared, grinning foolishly and skipping away, the broken window already forgotten.

It took me a while to realize...but when I rounded ANOTHER corner of these stupid streets..i finally realized I was lost.

"Greeeeeeeeat." I drawled then sat down in the middle of the empty and silent street.

"Now I'll never meet Pervert-kun, Midget-kun and all my favourite characters!" I sighed in obvious grief.

"Hey! This is MY dream! Why am I lost in MY dream?" I jumped up and tapped my foot in annoyance.

"Ok! Oyshka manooooooooou!" I spouted my usual gibberish, keeping in mind that I wanted to get...SOMEWHERE!

I opened my eyes...oh! I hadn't noticed I'd closed them.

Nothing had happened. I dropped my arms and sat back down sulking.

Just then...THE WALL NEXT TO ME GLOWED!

As in light blue! As in MAKING LIGHT!

I almost freaked...then remembered this was a dream and happily took it in my stride.

"Oh great and Hyper Yuri-sama thou art have founded the way!" I congratulated...myself!

I shook my own hand, not an easy feat I tell you! then set off, closely following the glowing wall.

In no time I found myself in front of...what looked like an academy?

I had one eye double the size of the other and I was pretty sure a HUGE question mark was hovering over my head.

"Hunh." I walked closer, the only sound in the whole town of my bare feet scruffing against the brick road.

So? I had no shoes! I always walk around bare footed anyway!

"There you are!"

I screamed, jumped back and held a hand to my heart as I surveyed the young girl from before running over to me.  
Come to think of it she HAD to be a nurse or something under Unohana's division...maybe?

"Jesus you idiot! Want me to die young of a heart attack or something? I would never have finished my gummy bears and taken over the world with my companion Marshmallow!" I shook my fist at her, my heart beat still fast paced.

"Unohana-taichou has been looking all over for you! How did you come here?" She asked confused.

"Eh? I don't know! I was lost and I stumbled here! Where IS here anyway?" I asked, scratching my head.  
I hadn't realized we weren't alone and when a voice answered behind me I shrieked again.

"You are at the Shinigami Academy."

I whirled around and pointed an accusing finger at the man.

"MEANIE!" I looked closer.

"OMIGAWD IT'S HOT-ASSED-TRAITOR-KUN!" I glomped him faster than anyone could blink and snuggled into his soft robes.

Unohana reached the scene seconds later and contemplated me holding Aizen-taichou in a death grip and rubbing my face against his chest, Aizen-taichou with a shocked/alarmed look and her shinigami student who couldn't have looked...actually more hilariously gobsmacked.

* * *

IMPORTANT: I haven't divulged how Yuri looks because I'm still looking for a suitable picture to fit her personality...but I'm pretty sure I'll have one for Part III! 

Part II is finished...I wanted to write more but then I thought it would be better to just add a third chapter! -winks-

But you know the drill...RIGHT?

Give me an R! Give me an E! Give me a V! Give me an I! Give me an E! AND GIVE ME A 'W'!

For those who can't spell that says REVIEW! XD


	3. Chapter III : Explanations

HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOO

- hollowheart3 - Man...me too... I wish I could meet Kuchiki Byakuya...he looks so hot! -sighs dreamily-

* * *

_Unohana reached the scene seconds later and contemplated me holding Aizen-taichou in a death grip and rubbing my face against his chest, Aizen-taichou with a shocked/alarmed look and her shinigami student who couldn't have looked...actually more hilariously gobsmacked._

* * *

Finally Hot-Assed-Traitor-Kun managed to shove me off him and took a wary step back.  
I pouted then returned to my bright as sun smile.

"I looove this place! I hope I NEVER wake up!" I giggled.

Unohana sighed. Aizen-taichou raised an eyebrow and the young Shinigami continued staring with her mouth hanging.

"How...she...Taichou...jump...how?" She muttered unintellegibly.

I scratched my head then looked around, not noticing the three people looking at me as if i was crazy.

Well Unohana-chan was being careful to hide it but i knew she probably thought the same thing as the other two...but then again...I was USED to being called crazy.

"Yuri..." Unohana said carefully. "You are fully awake. This is not a dream." She seemed tired.

I smiled at her, a smile that conveyed my message clearly. 'Yeah-right-sweetie-don't-worry-it's-fine!'

Unohana sighed again and took my arm, leading me away as if I was completely crazy and yet...she seemed also worried. For me...?  
Weird. Everyone was always worried they'd catch my craziness and avoid me...they ignore me, curse me, try to hurt me (which would make me hit them...Hinhinhin) but...no one apart from my parents and brother had really bothered...worrying about me.

I looked up at her confused. "Why are you so nice to me?"

She stopped and looked down at me. I didn't see the raised eyebrows coming from the two behind me.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

I looked down. "Why would you want to be associated to me?"

She sighed again and started walking again, tugging me back towards what I guessed was the Shinigami hospital...which I was now going to dub...THE HOLY WHITNESS!

MUAHAHA!

But yeah...Unohana hadn't answered my question...

* * *

FINITO!!! 

Muahahahahahaha!

hzhahahahahaha!

hahahahhahaha!

hahahahaha!

hahahaha!

hahaha!

haha!

ha!

Ha...?

Nah! just kidding! BWAHAHAHAHA!

* * *

We reached my room again and Unohona-chan sighed in annoyance at the sight of the broken window. 

We changed room and this one, I noticed had no windows but it DID have a big door...so I wasn't feeling too claustrophobic.

"Hey! Uno-chan! Can I have a cookie?" I asked, making my eyes widen in innocence (when you do this ALWAYS add a bit of tear-shine to them, makes it look PERFECT: MUAHAHA!) and I put up my MUCH practiced puppy look.

She looked me over, I saw her almost bite her lip then she rolled her eyes and left.  
I stayed in the same position, waiting.

Five minutes later she came back...WITH A COOKIE!

"YAAAAAAAAAI!" I glomped her, took the cookie and stuffed my face with it.

"Yuri."

I giggled, savouring the chocolate chip cookie.

"YURI!" I jumped and turned, wide-eyed to Uno-chan.

"Yah?"

She sighed again. Man...I must be aggravating her or something...poor girl... I grinned wickedly.

She looked me over wearily. "Do you remember anything before you woke up here?"

I scrunched up my nose and tapped my chin, eyes on the ceiling.

"Hmmmmm...I was on my PC, reading some really hilarious story titles...and...then...I fainted and woke up here!"

I ended happily.

"So you don't remember..." I thought I heard her say.

"Remember what?" I asked and she turned to me, surprised.

"What don't I remember?" I was getting confused and scared.

"You were being attacked by a Hollow, Renji-san and Kuchiki-taichou brought you here. Your arm and stomach were heavily damaged and your neck had that sign burnt into the skin."

My eyes widened as she listed all that had happened to me...as if she were talking about the weather.

"NANIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII?!"

* * *

Well ya knows the drill loves...click the button, type some text to tell me how bad you think my story is and POST it.

XD BI!


	4. Chapter IV : Strange girl

Heellooooooooooooooo!

Thanks to ... (the names are down...pff...idiots!) for the review! It was motivating and really nice! So to thank you and hoping this chapter doesn't suck too much: PART 4!

* * *

RECAP:

_"You were being attacked by a Hollow, Renji-san and Kuchiki-taichou brought you here. Your arm and stomach were heavily damaged and your neck had that sign burnt into the skin."_

_My eyes widened as she listed all that had happened to me...as if she were talking about the weather._

_"NANIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII?!"_

* * *

"NANIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII?!"

After a while I calmed down...I think she gave me a shot! and she made me sit on the bed, took my temperature and made me lie down.

I was still sucking on what was left of the cookie, wondering if I should be worried or hyper.

"Sleep." She ordered. I opted for Hyper. I wasn't tired!

I nodded anyway, waiting for her to leave so I could slip out again.

She sighed and left. As soon as the door closed I chugged the rest of my cookie and prepared to get off the bed when...  
the door was opening again!

I rushed back under the covers and kept my eyes glued to the door.  
Uno-chan picked up some pages on the small table next to the door, smiled at me and closed the door once again.  
Locking it this time.

I grunted and got out of the comfy warm bed more slowly this time.

"Locked doors, no windows...what is one to do?" I asked myself, looking around, bored.

"Usually when Unohana-taichou orders someone to sleep...they sleep."

I stifled a shriek and turned on my heel.  
There, at the other end of the room, stood Hot-Assed-Traitor-kun!

"What IS it with you people sneaking up on poor lil old me?"

He didn't answer and instead looked deep into my eyes...woah there buddy! I might have to 're-dub' you Pervert-kun!

Nooooo! That's Byakuya's nickname! Pffff!

"Let me guess! You're here because I called you Hot-Assed-Traitor-kun eh?" I asked lucidly.  
It actually seemed to surprise him a bit. The only response I got was a tightening of the lips.

I looked down at those lips and wondered if Hitsugaya had soft lips...and if Byakuya's hair were as soft as they looked.

GAAAAAAAAH! What was I thinking?!

"Well?" His question pulled me from my thoughts and I turned to him.  
I was suddenly very tired, all my hyper-ness leaving in one go.

I yawned widely and rubbed my eyes blearily…like the little kiddies do.

"Chill…I won't have to deal with you're meany-ness for a while…I think…" I muttered, laying down on the inviting bed.

"Aaaaaaaaaah…"

Aizen came closer. "nan desu ka?" (what is it?)

…I had already fallen asleep…

The Captain looked down at the girl and wondered if she really knew his plans…it annoyed him, being uncertain like this. He also knew that if she became a threat…he'd illiminate her…without remorse or second thought.

She was a pretty thing actually, short spiked up brown hair, orange eyes, the strange dragon-like snake tattoo around her neck intrigued him also.

He clothes were provocative and at the same time conservative. Long pants with what looked like useless buckles everywhere and a shirt so short and tight it left nothing to the imagination.

She acted like a deranged psycho…and yet at times she'd change personality entirely like when she'd figured out what he wanted (and hadn't answered by the way!) and also…when she'd asked Unohana-taichou why she was helping her.

"Strange girl…strange indeed…"

Aizen-taichou left the room, deciding that keeping her alive could be rewarding and disappeared into the night…TO MAKE UP EVIL PLOTS! MUAHAHAHA!

* * *

FINISHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! 

shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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shhh

XD

* * *

- UchihaKinakae - LOL! girl (woops...you ARE a girl right?) you can review as many times as you want! ;) just as long as you have fun and laugh while reading my story, I'm proud to have you as reviewer! -dramatic music in background-

- blade-master08 - Thanks:D Hope you also like this chappy!

- hollowheart3 - Lol! Me too! I loooove randomness but I can't seem to find any stories like that! Do you know any good ones I could read?


	5. Chapter V : Kenkenchan

**HELLO! I re-edited this chapter because Kiya's appreance wasn't right and I checked all my bad grammar! ;D Hope y'all like it! I'll post Chapter 6 probably later in the afternoon, right now my mom's yelling for me to clean my room! -anime cries-**

Yo!  
Wow! Never thought you'd be so many to actually LIKE this tory!

I tend to write it after having eaten a bit too much chocolate... like now...YAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!! WOOOHOOOO!

-Dances around room, foot lands on abandonned candy wrapper, slips forward and sends Author flying...splatttering across the floor-

Owiee...

- KSOtakukillian - Lol! Thanks! Hope you like this chapter too:)

- ShinigamiFangirl - YAiii!.chocolate. I love randomness!.chocolate. -grins- but what's Pocky? -pouts- IS IT SOME TYPE OF CHOCOLATE? I looove chocolate...-sighs dreamily-

- blade-master08 - Aizhen? Why not? Even if he is the bad guy...I don't really see a reason to do some Aizhen-bashing...yet...-grins evilly-

- hollowheart3 - Oooh! Cool! Thanks! I'll check it out as soon as I finish this chapter! -smiles happily-

- darkangel211101 - Ooooh! Coooooooooooooookie!! -sniggers- I'm getting everything ready girl! Ya're gonna be in this story...AS RANDOM AS ME!! Lol! -grins- and now...you cannot back out! -evil laugh-

* * *

Right what is that whattamathing...Bedlam? no...rehab?...Resap? ARGH! Something like that... 

_She acted like a deranged psycho…and yet at times she'd change personality entirely like when she'd figured out what he wanted (and hadn't answered by the way!) and also…when she'd asked Unohana-taichou why she was helping her._

_"Strange girl…strange indeed…"_

_Aizen-taichou left the room, deciding that keeping her alive could be rewarding and disappeared into the night…TO MAKE UP EVIL PLOTS! MUAHAHAHA!_

* * *

I woke up still in my hospital bed, dreaming my best friend Kiya,second most random-nest person in the world...me being first. 

Actually I dreamt Kiya had been walking home, like we'd do together sometimes since she lives next door, and she'd walked towards the garden...and I saw that as usual she hit the closed glass balcony door head first.

-sigh- aaah... i miss her...

I stretched, scooted up and looked to my right.

"GAAAAAAAAAAH!" I shrieked then proceeded to glomp the person next to me.

"Where da evil gummy bears?!" Kiya protested wildly as I hugged the life out of her.

"Yuri?" She asked after several seconds of confuse-d-ment??!!!!! (AN : How the HELL do I spell that?!! Gah! )

I looked up at her and understood why she hadn't talked as loud as usual...her face was blue...

"Aww! You're face is blue! That's so KAWAII!" (Kawai cute)

I let go to pinch her blue cheek and to my disappointment her cheek became pink once again.

"I prefered it blue..." I muttered just as the door opened and in came Unonahana-chan.

"OHAYO UNO-CHAN!" I yelled, unwittingly yelling it in Kiya's ear, making her fall off the bed, bringing the pillow and blankets with her.

"Hmm..." She snuggled into the pillow. "'think I'll just finish my night here..." she yawned and prepared to go back to sleep.

"OMIGAWD! CHOCOLATE!" I yelled as I saw Uno-chan carrying something.

"WHERE?!" Kiya shot up and looked around wildly.

She looked like a rabid animal actually with her shoulder length bright red hair in a rat's nest and her wide red eyes.

She was dressed in cool clothes however, a corset (red of course) kind of top, pants and...really cool elbow length gloves.

I love gloves. But still...she looked ruffled...she looked just like what she was...waking up.

I guessed I didn't look much different...

I turned my head to a small mirror hanging on the wall and caught sight of my reflection...ouch...

When I looked to see what Unohana-chan had brought I was disappointed...and so was Kiya but that was because she had been woken up from her Penguin and marshmallow attack dream.

"Who is this?" Uno-chan asked, not really looking surprised and yet not really looking like she'd expected there to be a second crazed teenager in the room.

"That's Kiya! My best friend!"

Kiya finally seemed to really realize that she was no longer in her room nor near her house and she sent me a confused look.

"You've just landed in bleach. I've been here a few days already!" I admitted proudly.

Kiya's eyes widened. "YOU MEAN I'LL GET TO MEET COOKIE-CHAN?! AND KEN-KEN-CHAN?!"

I winced and shooked my head to get the residue yell out of my ears.

I swear, even as a drop of her highly concentrated yell fell from my ear it let out a TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING sound as it hit the floor.

Unohana looked like she didn't know how to act anymore.

Poor her.

I grabbed Kiya and braught her to Uno-chan.

"Uno-chan, Kiya, Kiya, Uno-chan."

Kiya smiled, becoming her very polite self once again and bowed to unohana.

"'Tis a pleasure to meet you!" She grinned.

We looked at each other and giggled. "I can't believe we're in bleach!" She whispered. "This isn't a joke right?" She asked, trying to make sure.

I pinched her and when she yelped I sniggered. "You're awake."

She glared half-heartedly and then returned to her evil smirk.

"How did you come in. I did not see not feel you until ten minutes ago." Uno-chan stated, eyebrows frowning slightly.

"I don't know..." Kiya went into deep thought...ouch...that's not good...I don't go in deep thought...it makes me forget everything around me and I usually end up humming or singing and imagining some great adventure with me starring...except this time...IT'S REAL!

"Is it ok if we walk around?" I begged Uno-chan.

She seemed to debate whether or not to let us go and I did my best puppy-dog-face. Kiya, seeing her hesitation joined me in the begging and even went so far as to fall off the bed and stay on her knees, imploring Uno-chan silently with wide, tear filled eyes.

I resisted the urge to snigger. The amount of times our little act had helped us couldn't be counted on both our hands.

"Very well. But be back before nightfall." She warned.

We nodded, looked at each ocher and dove out of there!

As soon as we hit the long streets of the Shinigami world we erupted in a fit of excited laughter.

"I still can't believe this..." Kiya whispered, unnatural red eyes shining in excitment and plots for all our favorite characters!

"Me neither...but let's make the most of it!" I dragged her along and as we walked, we saw a figure far off...an imposing figure...a scary figure...

"OMIGAWD! IT'S KEN-KEN!" Kiya disappeared in a whirl of smoke and I stood there a couple seconds, shocked at her speed before rushing after her.  
When I arrived I found Zaraki Kenpatchi-taichou looking down skeptically at Kiya who was currently...snuggling into his chest.

"You have the bestest chest of ALL!" Kiya said, nuzzling him.

He turned his gaze to me. "Uh...hehe...she really likes you..." I stated the obvious, laughing and scratching the back of my head.

As soon as Yachiru made her little pink appearence on Ken-ken-chan's back Kiya went ballistic.

"Ohmigod you're so kawai!" and no sooner had she said that that Yachiru squealed : "KAWAI!"

Kenpachi and I sweatdropped as both girls hugged, one on each shoulder.

I bit my lip to keep from laughing and he glared.

"Who are you?" He asked as the two girls continued hugging and chattering away.

I smiled and did a small wave. "My name is Yuri and that's my friend Kiya! We're new here! Unohana-chan said we could take a walk!"

I was smiling with my eyes closed. I swear, manga people do it all the time and i can tell you...it's weird...

"REALLY?! Thanks Yachi-chan! Come-on Yuri!" Kiya jumped off Ken-ken-chan, grabbed my hand and dragged me away, waving goodbye to a giggling Yachiru and a confused Kenpachi-taichou/

"Byyyyyyyye Ken-ken-chan! Bye Yachi-chan!" Kiya yelled before we turned a corner.

I huffed, trying hard to keep up. I wasn't really a sport doer and I couldn't sprint as well as Kiya so I was being LITTERALY dragged along.

"Where...-huff-...are -gasp- we going?" I tried to say, the air just not seeming to enter my poor lungs.

"You'll see!"

I was afraid usually when she said something like this it was because...

Kiya stopped my train of thought by screeching to a halt and carefully looking around a corner. "Ha! Nailed that hot ass!" She whispered.

"Hunh?" I bent a bit to see what or who she was spying on and almost anime fell.

"Hanataro?" I asked, looking back at her, with one eyebrow raised and an unsure smile.

She pointed to a spot I couldn't see and when I bent to look, I slipped and fell in slow motion to the ground...

My eyes caught a white cape just as my ass hit the earth.

"Itai!" I yelped, glaring at the earth. "Eeeevil hard earth! Mean!" I scolded it, getting up and quickly slipping out of view once again...

god and HE just had to see me make a total dork of myself...why oh why?!

Kiya sniggered and I glared.

The person I had seen was...

* * *

CLIFFHANGER!!! LOL! 

I know y'all hate me for this but I ASSURE you! ...you'll get the next chapter soon!

Just tell me what you think:D


	6. Chapter VI : Part One

Hello!

I will thank all my reviewers seperatly at the end of the chapter, for now just read and tell me (Hollowheart hon) if I need to reedit you're character:) Huuuugs!

* * *

Previously... 

_"Itai!" I yelped, glaring at the earth. "Eeeevil hard earth! Mean!" I scolded it, getting up and quickly slipping out of view once again..._

_god and HE just had to see me make a total dork of myself...why oh why?!_

_Kiya sniggered and I glared._

_The person I had seen was..._

* * *

The person I had seen was...KUCHIKI BYAKUYA TAICHOU?!

And...was that...I examined the girl currently staring at the scary taichou, drooling.

They were having a staring contest it seemed...and because it's getting boring to see two people stare at each other I decided to check her description in my head and try to remember who it was.

Long legs...check...5'7...tall...bloody hell...check...chinese...check...black hair with purple highlights...check...hyper?...check...wait!

That description...IT'S MY PENPAL FROM THE NET!! FROM FANFICTION! dot net. hehehe

Kiya seemed to have reached the same conclusion, seeing as we were all three pen pals (even IF kiya lives near my house) and we grinned evilly at each other.

We jumped out of our hiding places, singing at the top of our lungs.

"Ichi-chan and Byakuya sitting under a tree, K.I.S.S.I.N.G! First comes love, then comes marri..." I was cut off as Ichi's fist met with my head and I fell, just like the anime, to the ground, nose buried in the dirt.

"Hey Kiya, long time no see." Ichi-chan greeted, stepping over me to air kiss Kiya.

I grumbled and got up. Kuchiki-taichou had disappeared, probably scared of us three deranged teens.

"So how did you get here?" i asked Ichi after we had all expressed our joy at seeing each other. Kiya had smiled, Ichi had hugged us and I had squealed and done a happy dance...what!

"I was watching Bleach, on my PC on YouTube when suddenly I saw you guys in it! But anime style. Like now. And I looked at the screen in shock, touched in and was pulled right here. Since I luuuuuuurve Byakuya well...i kinda stopped thinking when I came face to face with him..." She finished, slightly sheepish.

I patted her on the back. " Had it been me I would have jumped his bones." My full-toothed grin appeared.

"That's comforting." Kiya shot in, sarcastic.

I grinned at her. "For him anyway."

* * *

AARGH! I have to go work! (I'm working for my parents and getting paid! YAI!) I'll finish this chapter later or tomorrow k? Hollowheart hon, tell me if your name and/or appearence is ok k? So if you don't like it I can re-do the chapter! ;)

Biii!


	7. Chapter VI : Part Two

* * *

Part 1:

_I patted her on the back. " Had it been me I would have jumped his bones." My full-toothed grin appeared._

_"That's comforting." Kiya shot in, sarcastic._

_I grinned at her. "For him anyway."_

* * *

Ichi was wearing her usual tight pants and TINY shirt and it made me think that I looked not much different, except that my pants were slightly baggy and hers well...left little to the imagination.

Kiya looked around us. "What do you think will happen to us?"

I shrugged. "Dunno. We might be brought in for questioning, tortured and or killed, Meanie-zen-zen taichuo might find out we know about his plan to destroy the world and decide it's time for us to 'disappear'..." I was cut off the rest of my rant when Ichi suddenly started jumping up and down, clapping her hands excitedly.

"What?" Kiya and I asked at the same time.

"Let's go ask a taichou!"

We both sweatdropped. Riiiiight... she wasn't worse than me, no, no one could do that, but Ichi was pretty darn close.

"Ok. Let's go." Kiya stated, walking off in a random direction.

"Do you KNOW where a taichou is?" I asked, running after her.

"No."

"Ah."

We walked in silence for a couple seconds until I erupted in my favorite song and Ichi joined me.

"Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, think I'm gonna eat worms!"

Kiya smirked and joined us for the next verse.

"Thin, long, stringy ones, big, fat, juicy ones, icky icky icky icky worms!

Bite their heads off, " We turned a corner.

"drink their blood out, throw their skins away!"

We walked on, the long streets all alike in appearence.

"Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, think I'm gonna eat worms three times a day!"

My whole body bounced off something hard...well...squishy hard and I fell on my butt.

"OWIIIIE!" i stared up glaringly at whoever knocked me down.

"You three must be whom Unohana-taichou talked about." Ukitake-taichou smiled at us and down at me, lending me a helping hand to get up.

"I have talked with her and since it is apparent that you cannot return home, we have decided to put you to the Shinigami academy to wait and see."

The 'wait and see what to do with you useless weirdos' went unsaid...but I'm pretty sure he was thinking it.

We all looked at him, dumbstruck.

"NANI! But we don't even have Reiatsu! are we even DEAD?!" Ichi yelled, looking panicked.

Kiya walked over and boinked her over the head, sending the girl to the ground where I had previously been sitting, massaging my sore bottom.

"We will move what personnal items you have tonight at the academy and you shall sleep there. The lessons starts tomorrow morning."

Ah! Now I get it! Unohana couldn't take us anymore. She needed a night where she knew we weren't in her hospital to destroy her patients...oh well...I guess my new firecracker would have to wait...

* * *

-carmondomon - But sour candy is not bad either! HERE let's exchange!!!! My chocolate for your sour candy!!!BWAHAHAHA!

- hollowheart3 - is it ok if I stick with Ichi-chan???? pweeeeeeeeeeaze! I find that name hilarious!

- darkangel211101 - lol! I didn't get to post this second part cos my mom kept me busy until now!! GAH! But anyway, hope youlike it!

- Shinigamifangirl - yeah, it might be a bit confusing what with my two new heroeines but no worries, it'll get back to normal in the nxt chapter! lol!

Right! Hello everyone and once again please forgive me for taking so long! My mom kinda kept me busy and I couldn't post this second part till now!! GAaaah!

Anyways, please review to tell me if you guys liked it and I think the next chapter will be..not bad! .

I hope so anyways! XD


	8. Chapter VII : Well this ain't thearmoury

oHAyo minna!!! (hello everyone)

Daijobu desu ka? (You ok?)

Anyways, I wanna just say that I'll thank my reviewers at the end of this chapter so no worries, I haven't forgotten! .

* * *

Previously...on Prison Break... 

"We will move what personnal items you have tonight at the academy and you shall sleep there. The lessons starts tomorrow morning."

Ah! Now I get it! Unohana couldn't take us anymore. She needed a night where she knew we weren't in her hospital to destroy her patients...oh well...I guess my new firecracker would have to wait...

* * *

We were shipped off to the academy, installed into a little room for three and given our school uniforms which pretty much resembled the usual shinigami uniform. 

I noticed Hot-traitor-assed-kun was nowhere to be found today and it worried me.

I wanted to find hinamori before she was manipulated by Aizen and became crazed. Ichi understood this but Kiya kept repeating that it might change something.

"But whether or not she becomes deranged doesn't do anything to the fact that hot-traitor-assed-kun IS a traitor!" I muttered to myself after yet another argument with Kiya.

These were serious times...and in serious times you need...CHOCOLATE!

Granted, I am now at the academy, it's 6:00 PM and everyone is still unpacking or revising for tomorrow's first lesson day and I'm stuck in my room with a mule and Ichi-chan...but chocolate is my emergency medecine for christ's sake!

"Yo, Ichi, I'm gonna walk around. Wanna come with?" I asked, pulling my boots on again. I'd stolen my set of boots back, these moronic shinigamis wanted me to wear their sandals...SANDALS! Honestly, when I've got perfect black, buckled, gothic boots!

I walked around for a while and FINALLY came upon the kitchen. Only one problem. It was bustling with activity...hmm...

I 'burrowed' a uniform from the small 'personnel' cabinet on my right, shrugged it on and slipped in unnoticed. Pfiew!

I tiptoed to the fridge and opened it. Gosh, there were all the vegetables possible here...and meats...but where da heck! was my chocolate!

I was becomes near hysterical when finally I spied a small chocolate bar on the counter not far off.

Just as I reached it, another cook (a real one) took it. Narrowing my eyes I leapt forward and stuck my foot in front of him.

He tripped, I caught the bar...and ran.

The yells followed me for a remarkably shot amount of time and I only had to dodge two or three people before I soon found myself in a long empty hallway, nibbling at my oh-good-god-I've-finally-found-you chocolate.

That's when a door caught my eye.  
On it was written 'Armoury'. I shed my cook's robes and got up, walking towards it.  
The sound of footfalls made me stop and...

* * *

CLIFFY!! 

nah, just kiddin'! .

* * *

Kiya and Ichi appeared around the corner. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. 

"Hey guys..." I grinned and pointed to the door in front of me, the rest of my chocolate bar hanging forgotten from my limp arm.

Which Ichi was quick to notice...she...she -sobs-...SHE ATE THE REMAINING CHOCOLATE!

"Stop being crazy and let's go in." Kiya smirked, taking one step forward and pushing at the door.

It didn't budge. Ichi and I frowned and placed our hands on either sides of Kiya's.

We all three pushed until beads of sweat rolled around our forehead and FINALLY, the door creak and swayed a bit before shifting and gliding open without a sound.

"Holy cow..." I muttered, wiping the sweat from my face.

"Well this ain't the armoury eh tweak?" I said, grinning. (POTC line)

Kiya looked at me. "Actually it is..."

I sweat dropped.

"Shall we?" Ichi stated, grabbing our sweaty hands and dragging us in.

We stopped in the middle of this huge...chamber. It was full to the brim with katanas...

"Unnamed zanpaktus." Kiya stated, looking a sword over before putting it down again.  
I went for the closest sword to me and picked it up. I nearly dropped it on my foot; it was BLOODY HEAVY!

I placed it back and searched for another one.

All the zanpaktus resembled each other and I looked for one that might be different or would catch my eye.

"Hey Yuri! Look what I found for you." Ichi whisper-yelled from one side of the room.  
Something small and winking in the light came hurtling my way and I dodged it with a yelp.

I opened my mouth to yell at Ichi but stopped when I noticed the dagger.

It was simple and black with no marking of traces of use.

"OMIGAWD It's so puuuurty!" I shrieked, momentarily forgetting we probably shouldn't be in here.

I picked it up and felt a small flash of electricity go through my body right down to my fingertips.

Kiya and Ichi had picked up random zanpaktus and were already swinging them around.

I grabbed the hilt of the black dagger and swung it decisively in front of me.

"I wonder what your name is." I whispered. The girls sent me a look. I knew, somehow, that we'd all three just thought the same thing.

"I'm pretty sure I heard noise coming from the armoury!" A voice alerted us from outside.  
Our eyes widened and we all three looked around for places to hide.

Ichi dove into a chest...which closed down on her.

Kiya, I saw scrambled into a random armour lying about, looking about ready to fall apart.

and me? I stood in the middle of the room, frozen.

The door opened and I stared at it, unmoving while Kiya and Ichi were whisper-shouting at me to hide.

Agonizingly slowly the door swung open to reveal two grumpy shinigamis. I didn't even gulp.

They looked around the room carefully and went off again, one of them muttering obscenities to the other.  
When the door closed I let out a sight of relief.

"What morons!" Kiya grinned, getting out of the suit of armour. "They didn't even see lil' old Yuri, standing shit scared in the middle of the room!"

A muffled sound followed Kiya's statement and we looked around.

"Where's Ichi?" Kiya wondered aloud and I pointed to the chest.  
We lifted an eyebrow at the same time and moved towards it slowly.

I prodded it. "I think...it's...ALIVE!" I shrieked, cackling madly at my own joke.

Kiya rolled her eyes and grabbed the latch, heaving upwards.

My cackling stopped when I was that the chest didn't open.

The muffling sounds turned more frequent which probably meant Ichi was trying to explain how she managed to lock herself IN the chest.  
I stiffled a giggle and Kiya sent me a glare.

"You got to admit...Ichi would be alot easier to handle now that's she's...locked up."

I cracked up and started laughing like crazy.

"I shall avenge you, living-chest, AFTER I free your occupant from it's soulless barrier." Kiya said dramatically, shooting me another glare.

"Soulless?" I asked, clueless. (Ooooh! That rhymes...)

"Aaah, just leave her there, we'll come get her in the morning for the lesson." I took out an apple I had mugged in the kitchens and took a juicy bite out of it.

The muffled yells turned louder. I could even make out...'no!' and...'ody...tr...aito...'.

* * *

There we go!  
I am so motivated for this chapter! Pfiew! I couldn't stop writting, unfortunately my mom wants the PC so...I hafta bugger off.  
But I wanna thank my reviewers first! So there! -crosses arms and pouts- 

-hollowheart3 - . glad you liked it luve!

- carmondomon - my...my...my...MY CHOCOLATE!!!! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! (Hitsu-kun should arrive soon:D)

- Shinigamifangirl - How was this chapter? -anxious- hope you liked it!

- Et3rn4l D4rkn3ss - Thanks! .

- Hyper crazy-chan - you said it hon. I would so love to be my own carachter...'sighs dreamily' ...and glomp Hitsu-kun and Bya-kun...

Ok! Ya know da drill ladies and jerks! Read first, Review second, Bugger of third! ;)

Bye!


	9. Chapter VIII : Wow

Hello everyone and SOOOO sorry I haven't updated in TWO WEEEEEKS! GAAAAAAAH!

I'm afraid this story is going to have to become temporarily stopped or worse since school is starting in a week and my mum's drilling me into getting ready:

books, check,

pens, check,

learn again all of last year's important formulas, check!

Anyways, I hope y'all don't hate me for it...snif!

* * *

"Soulless?" I asked, clueless. (Ooooh! That rhymes...) 

"Aaah, just leave her there, we'll come get her in the morning for the lesson." I took out an apple I had mugged in the kitchens and took a juicy bite out of it.

The muffled yells turned louder. I could even make out...'no!' and...'ody...tr...aito...'.

* * *

Kiya sent me a look. "Oh fine!" 

I went over towards her and we both pulled like idiots. The lid didn't budge.

"Oh man...I had been joking earlier but I'm afraid to think I might actually have been right..." I muttered.  
Apparently Ichi heard me because her muffled pleas for help grew louder. But were still muffled. Poor girl...

Finally with our joined forces Ichi was free from the Horror Box. (Notice the H and B!)

Ichi looked at us in turn then...glomped us.

"SANKYU!!!!!!" Kiya blinked.

"Its thank you with a japanese accent." I explained and shook her head exasperatedly.

"Hey girls," I stopped for dramatics but since none of the two were listening it dampened my maddened aura. "GIRLS!" That finally caught their attention.

"What say you we try these little swords."

Our grins stretched eerily and I'm pretty sure that if anyone had been watching he'd been sent to the hospital screaming for his mommy.

"Let's go!" Ichi whisper-shrieked, punching the air with her sword...and occasionaly missing us by mere inches.

"Watch it!" I hissed. Ichi smiled sheepishly. "Sorry."

"You could hurt someone." I sniffed, showing her how to hold a sword with my own knife. Unfortunately...yes! UNFORTUNATELY! a banana peel seemed to suddenly appear under my foot and I slipped in slow motion, my oh-so-coolio knife flying.

THUD

it hit the door and stuck there, one millimeter from Kiya's head. We all froze. Kiya turned to me, murderous intent radiating off her.

"Nice...nice...It was an accident..nice doggy." I realized my mistake just in time and flew out of the room as Kiya took a running leap at me, hands in front as if to strangle me.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEP!" I ran shrieking through the empty halls and only stopped when I reached outside.

Kiya joined me soon after, hair in a mess, looking crazed.

"Oy! Kiya! There's a nice spot there for practice!" I pointed to a hidden clearing where we were sure we'd be nice and alone.

Kiya's personnality seemed to suddenly change as all her hair fell neatly back in place. She flicked away an invisible speck on her shirt then went to investigate the clearing.

"That was close." Ichi whispered in my ear. I jumped. Bloody sneaky friend!

"Yeah...thank goodness there actually WAS a clearing..."

Ichi looked at me, dumbstruck. "You mean you pointed without knowing what was behind you?"

I nodded. Ichi rolled her eyes.

"In french it's called having an ass fringed with noodles..." I chippered, smiling widely. "Or was it rimmed with noodles?" I pouted, one finger on my lip.

Ichi looked at me, clueless. "Means you have a lot of luck."

"You pansies coming?" Kiya yelled from the clearing.

"Yep!" We called back, scrambling over, fearing her wrath.

We reached the clearing and gasped. It was really big...and nice. The grass was a tendre green, the trees provided perfect protection from the outside world and the sky right above us was brilliant blue.

"Ok! Last one to reach Bankai has to dance naked in front of his crush!" I shrieked, laughing.

"But..."

"Deal!" Ichi and I shook hand then turned to Kiya.

"We're going to be in trouble for this..." she sighed. Then another eery smile appeared on her face. "Let's do it!"

We each went to a side of the clearing on our own.

Once I reached the trees again I sat down and looked my knife over. Could it really reach Bankai? I'd have to know it's name though...

"Oy girlies! How do I know my zanpaktu's name?" I yelled.

"Don't call me girly and how should I know?" Kiya yelled back.

"Oy morons! Don't fight!" ichi called at us.

"Who you callin' moron, you meanie!"

"Who you callin' meanie you cow!"

"GASP!"

"Oh man..."

"YOURSELF!"

"Why you...!"

Sudden light erupted from my hand and I temporarily disconnected from our yelled fight to look down.

HOLY COW! MY KNIFE'S GLOWING!!!

* * *

And so in the next chapter...-BANG- Owiiiiie!!! 

Fine! here's the rest of the chapter...meanies...-hand appear and threatens TPG- AAAAH! I didn't mean it!

* * *

I tried to drop the knife but it was as if it was glued to my hand! 

I looked up at Ichi and Kiya for help but they seemed to be having problems of their own.

Five seconds later my hand directed itself to the center of the clearing, and I noted the girls were doing the same, and we all yelled.

"Fry Eclair!"

"Let's go ShuJutsu!"

"Ikuso Hayaku!"

Kiya's sword turned to electric blue and sparkled.

Mine stayed the same with one small difference, it was glowing!

And Ichi's...well...her sword was switching from being electric like Kiya's to glowing like mine.

"Wow..." We breathed.

"So how do we know what our swords do now?" Ichi asked, looking at her sword rather worredly.

Kiya and I looked at each other then shrugged, "beats me..."

* * *

-Alanna-twins- lol! Thanks! Hope you enjoyed this one too!

- carmondomon - Hehe! I know, thank you thank you, im the best...-gets macked over the head- ...or not...XD

- Shinigami fangirl - XD Thanks and I; happy youre not confused:D

- hollowheart3 - I actually considered leaving you in there to starve to death...nah just kidding! -maniacl laughter- no worries hun, as soon as Ichigo shows up we'll CHASE HI: BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

- darkangel211101 - :D Thanks! Hope you like this chapter too!

Kay bye everyone and once again sorry for the SOOOOOOOOOOo late update


	10. Chapter IX : High Jump

Hello! Sorry for the late update!

Hope it's ok!

* * *

"Wow..." We breathed.

"So how do we know what our swords do now?" Ichi asked, looking at her sword rather worredly.

Kiya and I looked at each other then shrugged, "beats me..."

* * *

"THERE you are!" We turned in unison to see Unohana walking towards us, lookig positively murderous.

"Umm...we didn't mean it! The swords did it on their own" I yelled, trying to let go of my knife which was still glued to my hand.

"You mean that blast of Reiatsu was...YOU" I winced. Jeez...no need to shout.

"Ummm" I turned to the girls, they shrugged.

Oh well.

"Umm...Unohana san? we just found these things...lying on the ground...owner-less...so...uhhhm"

I was coming short of an excuse.

"We decided it was evil to leave them all alone!" Kiya cut in.

Ichi nodded seriously.

Unohana lifted her eyes to the sky, almost begging before turning back to us.

"Back to the academy. This minute"  
We nodded dejectedly and started the long, SILENT and prank-less journey back to our rooms.  
Once there Unohana locked us in and told each of us in turn that if we so much as put a TOE out of the room she'd personnally come and surgically skin us alive.

Thankfully she didn't know we had our cells with us.

'Kiya' : "Gosh girls! Unohana's pissed"

'Ichistraberry' : "yeah...I didn't know we could do multiple conversations via sms"

'MYhotman!" : " yeah. I wonder if Ichigo will appear. So far I haven't seen any"

I stopped writting. The distant sound of commotions and people running made me go to my small academy window.  
I bent my head out and looked to the side.  
"Hey! I can see you Ichi!" I turned to the right this time. "Kiya"

We screeched our happiness at seeing each other after a long absence of...a grand total of 10 minutes.  
10 minutes of not seeing each other then we turned back to the noises coming from further in the Seireitei.  
"Are you girls thinking what I'm thinking?" I said, grinning like a chesire cat.

They nodded and, in unison, we jumped over the railing.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"

I reached the bottom floor six floors lower with...barely a scratch! Ok...so the mean bush decided to make sure it's leaves were sharp enough on my arm.

But still! Six floors and no broken arm or anything!  
Is that even physically possible?

"Are you coming or WHAT?!" Kiya yelled already far away, Ichi trailing behind and waving me over.  
I nodded and sped to catch up...who knows who we'll be meeting now...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

* * *

Thanks everyone for the reviews, so sorry again for updating only now! Hope it's ok and pleaaaase help I have no more inspiration!!!  
GAAAAAAAH!

BYe!


	11. Chapter X : Glomping and running

Hello everyone! I know the last chapter sucked but I was, as we say, writer's-block-ed.

Muse: We don't say that.

Me: -narrows eyes- never mind. Anyways! I got a mild source of inspiration for this chapter so I hope y'all like it! HUUGGLES!

* * *

Rememorium... 

_"Are you coming or WHAT?!" Kiya yelled already far away, Ichi trailing behind and waving me over.  
I nodded and sped to catch up...who knows who we'll be meeting now...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!_

* * *

I tried to catch up to Ichi and Kiya but they had already ran off far away and I found myself in one of the alleys, at night...alone. 

"Yeesh, a bit more and i'm definitely running around screaming like a banshee!" I muttered, looking over my shoulder every few seconds.

You know that feeling where the hair on the back of your neck stand up? The one where you KNOW you're being watched? Well...

I didn't have it. And it irked me. I was creeped out for no absolute reason.

I sighed and rubbed my head; "This has gotta be..." A rocket-y sound reached my ears and when I looked up I screeched in horror.

A great big ball of fire was heading straight at me! And...wait a minute! Is that the moon next to it? No...to shiny...hmmm...Oh! It's the sun!

I took off my sunglasses and smiled; It wasn't night anymore! No need to be creeped out!

Unfortunately for me, I'd already forgotten about the imminent danger and didn't have time to move anymore when the object hit me head first.

I felt white hot fire blaze through my skull and saw stars for a few moments.

I rubbed my eyes and looked down. Boy...the trees are a lot smaller...and gradually becoming bigger again...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

The blast had flown me way high and I was now descending faster than a bullet towards the HARD, COMPACT earth below.

"Sweet mary jesus please don't let me die before glomping a guy or two and scaring my favourite characters!" I begged as the floor came up at incredible speed.

Further away...

"hey? Where's Yuki?" Ichi scratched her head, sure she'd seen her friend jump affter them and run to catch up.  
Kiya shrugged and bent over to look around a corner.

"Clear." She walked into another road.  
Ichi did the same, at the same corner...and screamed;

"OMIGAWD! ICHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGO!" She ran and jumped straight onto the poor, still completely dazed orange-head's back.

"What the hell?!" He tried in vain to wrestle Ichi off him but the girl held on tight and the more he struggled the tighter she hugged. "Mine!" She kept cackling under her breath.

Kiya just looked around, wondering if they were really dead or not...

Back to me...

I opened one eye when I saw I hadn't hit the hard ground and saw...glasses.

"OMIGAWD IT'S THE SHADOW KING FROM OURAN HIGH SCHOOL HOST CLUB!!!" I shrieked , trying to glomp the dude but he just pushed me away frantically.

"Miss I am not whoever you said..." He stopped when I froze and looked closer; Ooooh my!

Long, thin nose, elegant face, small glasses that reflected the sun, extremely dark and silky looking hair...ahhh...insert dreamy sigh here and the picture is complete...

IT'S ISHIDA!!! Even better than the shadow king! I sniggered inwardly...

This dude was _never_ going to get rid of me...EVER! Heeeheeeheee

I then spotted the orange head, what was her name already? and glowered. Ishida liked her, it was so obvious in the manga it always made me jealous.

Ishida practically dropped me and I had to let go of his neck, regretfully.

"Who are you?" He asked, brushing himself off.

"Forgive us for landing on you miss!" Orange-ey said, bowing low again and again. I pitied her back.

"It's nothing." I laughed. "I'm..."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! KIYA'S ZANPAKTU IS MESSING AROUND!!!! HEEEEEELP!"

I turned to Ichi running...actually more like sprinting towards me and behind her, Kiya being dragged by her sword and cussing like a seaman.

"What's going on?!" I yelled, eyes wide.

"SHUT UP AND RUN!"

Ichi grabbed my arm when she came level with me and I did just like in the cartoons. Part of me stayed a couple seconds still rooted to the floor and the rest followed Ichi before I snapped back together and was bolted away from my looooove!! Nooo! Ishida!!!!

"What happened?!" I said, getting on my feet and running next to Ichi.

"I dunno! She told that big dude with the little girl usually on his shoulder that she challenged him to a fight, they had barely started that her zanpaktu glowed and flew right at me. _Naturaly_ I ran!" Ichi huffed, looking backwards and yelping.

I did the same, got my foot stuck in a rock, bumped into Ichi and we stumbled to the ground. "Oh crap..." I muttered as Kiya appraoched us at high speed.

"We're done for..." Ichi breathed, squeezing her eyes shut.

Oh no...i was going to die without even glomping all my favourite characters and kissing Kuchiki Byakuya...siiiiiiigh...

* * *

I'm sorry! I'm having writer's block for this story! Please heeeeeelp!!!

Again, sorry but thanks for the reviews:)

**Bloody-Ribbon**: Yeah, I made Unohana a bit more emotional, I didn't want to leave her so...stony! XD, thanks for the review:)

**Edge-Keen-Blade**:) Lol, happy you liked it!

**Gemstone11**: Lol, ebil! XD

**hollowheart3**: Ooooh! Yeah!!! Attack of the fangirls! But it's gonna be a bit repetitive since I used about the same thing for my LOTR story...-siiiigh-

Thanks for the review anyway luv:)

**Shinigamifangirl**: LOL! You should be afraid of what comes next...-sniggers evilly-

But anyways, all of you, please help me for the next chapter!!! pretty please luves!!!


	12. Chapter XI: New Power and Poker

Ohayo minna-san!

Daijobu desu ka ne?!

Lol, ok, so I'm updating quickly now, originally I was looking something up for my math homework but hey, the plot bunnies assaulted me and held me at gun point till I'd written this down...:D

Huggles and i'll answer reviews at the bottom! thank you for reading!

Chapter 11: New Power and Poker

* * *

Last time... 

_"What happened?!" I said, getting on my feet and running next to Ichi._

_"I dunno! She told that big dude with the little girl usually on his shoulder that she challenged him to a fight, they had barely started that her zanpaktu glowed and flew right at me. Naturaly I ran!" Ichi huffed, looking backwards and yelping._

_I did the same, got my foot stuck in a rock, bumped into Ichi and we stumbled to the ground. "Oh crap..." I muttered as Kiya appraoched us at high speed._

_"We're done for..." Ichi breathed, squeezing her eyes shut._

_Oh no...i was going to die without even glomping all my favourite characters and kissing Kuchiki Byakuya...siiiiiiigh..._

* * *

Has anyone seen their entire lives flash before their eyes? No?...me neither...until now.  
And let me tell you. It isn't pleasant. I got sea sick. 

Yeah...you see I have my best friend being dragged by her _sword_, a little _TOY_ that we found, towards _us_, yes, me and Ichi and we were sure we were going to die.  
After all, it's not because we were in Soul Society that we...were...

"Holy cripes! Ichi we're ghosts! We can't die!" I cackled evilly and flew up just as Kiya and her demon sword reached us.

"NOOOOOO!!!!" Ichi yelled in anguish, hand outstretched towards me like in the movies, even going as far as moving in slowmotion.

I swear I went oO, but hey, I didn't have a mirror at the time.

"Not my chocolate!!!" Ichi finished just as Kiya reached me.

Kiya ran full into me, dropped the demon sword and we were sent sprawling into Ichi, cracking our heads in the pavement.

When the world stopped spinning and the pain hit me full force I cracked an eyelid.

"Yuri, you _MORON_! can't you just let me die?! I'm sure it hurts less than this!" Kiya growled, clutching her head.

Ichi rushed to me and patted me down, mumbling things like "..ok?...omigod...oh no...melted..." ..._melted?!_

"Ichi I'm fine." I mumbled, a bit irked.

"Not you! My Mars Bar I hid in your jacket so Kiya wouldn't steal it!" Ichi snapped, looking through my pockets frantically.

Dark clouds surrounded me and I sat with my face against the wall, silent rain falling on my head.

Kiya sniggered. "Buuuuuuurn..."

I shot her a glare.

"AHHH!!! LET THAT GO YOU PINKY FREAK!" Ichi yelled and i turned my head just in time to see the little girl always sittin gon zaraki's shoulders, whats her name, bending down, picking up the Mars Bar (notice the capitalized M and B ...) and...eating it whole, paper included.

Ichi looked like someone had just announced the death of her favorite grandmother.

I patted her on the back. "Don't worry. Mars lived a full life."

Ichi sniffed and nodded.

"Oy,girl, we still have our spar." Zaraki had suddenly appeared next to us, mking all three of us jump in fright.

"Omigod! look! A train!" I yelled frantically, pointing to something behind him.

Zaraki turned his head, I grabbed the girls and set off at a run.

...hehe...sucker...

"Hey! Let me at him! let me at him! I can take him on easy!" Kiya yelled as I dragged her by the back of the neck of her shirt.

"You don't even know how to handle your zanpaktu you idiot! He'll kill you!" I answered shortly.

Seeing the logic behind my explanation Kiya reacted a bit different from what I'd expected...then again...we _are_ the leaders of the CNC, Complete Nut Cases...

"GAAAH!! LET ME RUN! LET ME RUN!" She zoomed pas Ichi and I and all we did was raise our eyebrows.

"Did you try your zanpaktu?" Ichi asked, nodding to my knives. I shrugged, took the knives out and stared at them as I ran, clueless.

"What do i do?" I screeched as we turned a corner sharply, some shinigami running after us god knows why...and Zaraki not far behind, looking positively reeling...

mama he's scary...!

"How should I know?! It's _your_ sword!" Ichi yelled as she suddenly grabbed my arm, took a hold of the wall and made us do almost a U turn and take a different street.

Kiya had already disappeared, leaving us in the dust.

"Uuuuhmmm...Open sesame!" I tried, skidding to a stop in a dead end.

"QUICK!" Ichi whisper shouted, looking all around us for a way out.

"Uuuh..." The shinigami turned into our street, getting closer, "Uuuuhmm..." Fifteen feet, "Shit..." ten feet, "Oh crap..." five feet, "ACTIVATE YOU STUPID KNIVES!"

A bright white light flashed, temporarily blinding the shinigami running towards us and I used that moment to...

do hand signs?!

No...before any of you think it I _wasn't_ giving them the finger, although I would have liked to, I did not. I _could_ not, my hands were moving of their own accord and before I knew it I muttered some gibberish and...

**(For this sequence to be understandable I'm going to go to Ichi's pov for a bit, thank's for bearing with me:))**

I banged at the wal we'd just met and sent a look towards Yuri who was currently panicking over her two identical knives. Ohh jeez...we're going to die! We'll be chopped into little sushi cubes and eaten by Zaraki and his team!...hmm...now that i think of it...

"uuhmm...Shit...oh crap..." What's with her sudden not so crude swearing?

I turned to Yuri just as she yelled some crappy activating phrase which surprisingly...worked.

White light blasted for a couple seconds and I made out Yuri making strangely familiar hand signs.  
At one moment I almost swore I saw her struggle and try to flip the stunned shinigami in front of us a bird but then just finished whatever it was that she was doing and mumbled something under her breath.

And...Appeared ten Yuri...oh no...no no no!!! One's enough!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Back to Yuri's POV

I looked at Ichi as she yelled out and fainted dead away.  
The Shinigami looked down at me in horror.

"She has multiplied! NO! That...that...it's multiplied! Retreat!" Their '_leader'_ yelled and then they scattered. Even Zaraki was nowhere to be seen...that or he'd gotten lost while we were running...which is quite likely.

I went to Ichi, my clones scattered a bit everywhere, two bickering about which was prettiest, one daydremaing, one singing (the Phantom of the Opera for those who are wondering), one was practicing jumping against the wall and the other four had sit down and were currently playing strip poker.

"Ichi?" I prodded her.

"Hey...prod..." I said, not feeling stupid saying 'prod' since I did it all the time; (AN: I actually do that. I go up to some friends and poke them, saying 'prod prod' or stuff like that! XD, my nickname at school is Crazy Gale. -shrug-)

"Prod, prod, poke." No response except a small twitch. "Shove." I stated then proceeded to shove her roughly, sending her rolling down a small hill...and that's where I knew...ghost or not...I was dead.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Ichi yelled, rolling down the hill faster and faster.

"Damn...three fours, I lose."

I turned to one of my clones as she got up and stripped from her shirt and dropped a five dollar bill in the middle of the little circle of four. I lifted an eyebrow and approached.

"Got room for one more?"

I (x4) shrugged and let me sit down. Get this, get this, **I** shrugged, and let **me** sit down...yeah I know, it sucks. Let's play.

"YUUUUURI YOU'RE SO DEAD!" I heard faintly, coming from the bottom of the hill.

"It's a five card draw. Five dollars to play."

I nodded and placed the bill in and we started the game.

A few minutes later Ichi appeared, soaked in what looked like mudwater, hair tangled, eyes red and crazed not to mention face and arms scratched. Probably from all the little stones she might have met on her way down.

"Want to play Ichi? Strip poker, 25 dollar pot. 30 if you're in." I invited, not looking up from my (crappy) game.

She looked over and sniggered when she saw that two of my clones were already in underwear.

"Ok."

We gave her cards and settled down once more;

"I feel like we're forgetting something..." I muttered, thumping my lip with my finger as I changed two cards. ...damn...two sevens...with my king, queen and jack it sucked...

"Hmm...I don't think so..."

Kiya ran past us, huffing and puffing,screaming like a banshee, her sword had awoken again but was after her this time.

"Did you hear something?" I questioned, looking around and scratching my head when I saw nothing.

"Hmm? No...AHAH!" Ichi put her flush down just as a windy blurr of black, white and pink past us, making some of our cards flutter and letting us hear a soft cling cling sound.

Ichi grinned and showed her hand, having protected her cards from the wind. "Come on ladies, undress and pay me!" She sniggered.  
I (x5) groaned...damn...shouldn't have let her play...sigh...

* * *

Yo, thanks for reading! And thanks to my faithful reviewers for...well...reviewing! XD 

**Bloody-ribbon**: LOL! no no, if she'd flirted he'd have thought she was attacking him anyway! XD

**carmondomon**: Yeah, I felt in the manga that Ishida was attracted to Orihime but Orihime was attracted to Ichigo...waaaah! confusing! But yeah, Orihime and Hitsugaya is just...nasty...XD, thanks for the review though love!

**hollowheart13**: Lol, great minds think alike! XD

See you all soon! HUGGLES!


	13. Chapter XII: New Friend and Plottings

Hallo!

I want to apologize IMMEDIATELY to all my reviewers! I got only 2 reviews in my mail box, the rest was sent to Bulk and I only now just saw it!

FORGIVE MEEEEEEEEEE!

Now...here it is, **Chapter 12: New Friend and Plottings**

_A girl, around Yuri, Kiya, Ichi and Demonade's age, shoulderish length dark brown hair, pale complexion from lack of sun, dark eyes open wide, appeares suddenly out of nowhere closely followed by…bunnies? And chasing…half naked men?!_

_Yes…the rabid black and green spotted bunnies running after the Authoress…who is running after her muses who simply do not want to appear naked…wonder why._

_-innocent look_-

_authoress screeches to a stop: "Oh! And before I forget, I shall thank ALL my reviewers at the end of this chapter! AAAAH! NOT THE HAIR YOU RABBID...**DEVIL SPAWNS**!" Authoress yanks what's left of her hair from the rabbid black and green bunnies and rushes away, her muses having used the distraction to disappear..._

* * *

Before...bfor...B4...: 

_"Did you hear something?" I questioned, looking around and scratching my head when I saw nothing._

_"Hmm? No...AHAH!" Ichi put her flush down just as a windy blurr of black, white and pink past us, making some of our cards flutter and letting us hear a soft cling cling sound._

_Ichi grinned and showed her hand, having protected her cards from the wind. "Come on ladies, undress and pay me!" She sniggered.  
I (x5) groaned...damn...shouldn't have let her play...sigh..._

* * *

**Chapter 12: New Friend and Plottings**

I grumbled as I walked through Seireitei in nothing but my boxers and bra.  
Ok...so I'd lost alittle...ok, so I lost a lot. To myself no less...  
But I grinned gleefully when I saw Ichi walking next to me, positively brooding and dressed like those kawai-goth-lolita-dolls she hated so much...

My clones had even managed to put her hair in pigtails! PIGTAILS! To say the result was frightening was an understatement...

Thanfully by now my clones had disappeared and I'd finally understood that my zanpaktu enabled me to recreate things I saw from films and series; in the previous case I had just recreated Naruto's famous Kage Bunshin No Jutsu...litterally? No idea...although I love japanese. I know how to say Idiot, moron, it's annoying...my name is...

"Oi! Stop daydreaming and listen will ya!"

I turned to ichi. "Hunh?"

She blew out a sigh and pointed to something in the distance.  
I turned...and looked...ok...wow...

"CANDY!!!"

I yelled, running frantically towards the pink glob.

Just as I was about to reach it, something stopped me.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CANDY!"

Kiya suddenly appeared in my line of vision, sporting some sort of green goo all over her shirt and blocking my view of what I guessed must be a really nice candy. And big!

"Yuri! Snap out of it! It's a HUMAN...unless you've become canibal...MAMAAAAAAAAAAAA§"

Kiya let go of me and hid behind the Candy-turned-person.

So her hair was pink...ahaaaaa...that's what did me. Ok.

Up in a ponytail, a black sparkly scrunchy (neat! I'll have to steal it or something! it's CUTE:D) she had on a kawai panda shirt...it too was pink...and a pink belt...and pants and...pink shoes!...and PINK EYES!!!

She also looked me over, eyes narrowed abit.

Ichi and Kiya were slowly inching away as the saw the mad gleam in our eyes.

I blinked;

She blinked.

"_KAWAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"_

We yelled together and jump-hugged.

"_Plus you're completely crazy_!" We said again at the same time...

"_Freaky..."_

And...again...really weird!

"This is cool! I'm Yuri." I presented myself, hand outstretched.

"Demonade."  
We shook hands but didn't let go.

"The normal make a living." She started.

"And the deranged...make history."

I grinned. She grinned back.  
Kiya and Ichi regarded us wearily.

"So! I just landed here, where are we anyways?" Demonade asked, scratching her pink head.

I shrugged. "You just landed in Bleach. Same as us. This is Kiya, Ichi, girls, my new friend Demonade."

She blushed as pink as her hair and Kiya melted. Ichi pretended not to notice;

They were always a bit suspicious of new people at first. Like maybe half the planet.

"Ok. Come on! I have a new mission!" I yell, dissipating the awkward cloud that always hangs when you meet someone new and you're too shy to start the conversation.

My, now three, partners in crime lifted simultaneously their eyebrows.

"What kind of mission?" Demonade asked, eyes glinting.

"Hmmm...now that I know the power of my Zanpaktu...I'm gonna grab our respective lovely-dearests and chain them to the nearest beds! WITHOUT their zanpaktus lying around...mine would probably cut us up in little sushi cubes..." I muttered, starting to walk and working out all the kinks in my brand new, squeaky clean plan.

"How are we going to do it?" Ichi asks, already starry eyed at being able to chain a certain orange haired dude.

"AHAH! That is an EXCELLENT question! HOW will we be DOING IT? Well!" I stopped, crossed my arms and inhaled deeply to reply.

"I haven't actually thought of that..." i blew out all my air.

My three friends anime fell to the floor.

"Ok; here's the plan..."

Kiya made us do a small circle and it was cool! Like in those films were they get their arms on each others shoulders and whisper stuff!

'whisper whisper'

'mutter'

'whisper whisper whisper'

'furious mutter'

"Yuri! Pay. Attention!" Ichi seethed and I listened to what they were saying.

"but I don't wannaaaaa!" Kiya whined. Hmm...never heard her really whine before.

"We _need_ a distraction for that crazy ass!" Ichi supplied, annoyed at Kiya's unhelpfullness.

"He's not crazy! And his name's Ken-ken-chan!" Kiya defended.

ah. _That_ crackhead. Zaraka...no...Razaki?

"Zaraki." Demonade supplied and we all nodded.

"Yeah. The meatloaf."

"He's not gay Yuri. Meatloaf means gay." Ichi sighed.

"Oh."

"Ok. So that's the plan for Kiya ok? She'll 'distract' the wackhead, tie him up to the bed and throw his Zanpaktu to me who will already have caught Flower Guy's sword as well as Glasses's bow. Yuri, once you're done with Flower Dude, you help Demonade with Glasses ok? Kiya, once you're done with Wackhead come help me get mine ok?" Kiya noded. "Ok everyone?"

I looked at her, eyes half closed...or half open if you prefer, I was pretty sure a huge question mark was hovering above my head.

"Hey! I don't want Glasses-kun! I want...the other one..." Demonade blushed.

I turned to Demonade. Clearly I'd missed a bit more than i thought when I day dreamed...

"Translation?"

The three looked at me. "what?"

"Ok. Listen carefully! I'm not saying this a FOURTH time!"

I turned to Kiya and Demonade and saw them turn their heads away quickly, whistling innocently. Hmm...

"Kiya will be 'distracting' Zaraki," Ichi grinned evilly towards Kiya who flinched a bit, " Once she's managed to cuff Zaraki to her bed, she'll throw his sword to me, I'll have already got that Flower Dude's sword, what's his name, eh! Sakura?" I sweat dropped;

"Byakuya."

"Yeah, that's the one; Anyways. I'll have his sword, Zaraki's and you will help Demonade get Tall Dark and Handsome's sword. One you're all done and your men are safely 'tucked away' we'll go after..."

Here Demonade cut her off enthusiastically. "we'll go after Strawberry! Did i mention I liked strawberries? And strawberry cakes!"

"ooooh!" I jumped up and down. "And did you try that new Strawberry flavor LolliPop they just started selling? It's DIVINE!"

We squealed together and the rest of our group from Weirdness sweatdropped. "Don't you like chocolate?" Ichi asked.

_"CHOCOLATE!!!!"_

Ichi whistled to have our attention again. I wiped my chin where the drool had previously been trickling down onto my shoes.

"So! The mission is a go?" She questioned, grinning evilly.  
To which we all answered with equally scary smiled.

All through this I had forgotten I was still in my underwear, Ichi was still wearing her weird lolita uniform, Kiya was still covered in green goo and...well Demonade was still pink.

Think someone would notice? Naaah! We're incon...incan...inconspicrus...inconspicu...INCONSPICUOUS!...basically _we _know how to keep a low profile.

"Every woman for herself and God for all!" We chanted, hands out, forming a four pointed star towards the heavens.

Right. Inconspicuous. That's us.

* * *

Right! 

So here it is, fnito!

**Hisana Kuchiki**: Oooh! You speak spanish fluently? neat! I'm trying to learn...could you send me the whole song in spanish??? it'd be cool:)

**Darkangel211101**: -cracks one eye, face still blue from hug- chocolate?! -sniffs- CHOCOLATE?! Np luv, it's nice to hear from you:D

**Slade 2.0**: Lol! Thanks, I try to make this funny without it being overall boring and uncomprehensible...is that even a word?! Thanks for the review though:)

**Demonade**: Again sorry love I didn't answer sooner! Gahh! -hits mail box- bloody internet...-grumble grumble-

**Bloody-Ribbon**: Heeeheeehee...shinsui...hmm...-sniggers- nah, just..being my usual crazy self! XD, huggles!

**Shiroby**: hello weird-dude:D, thanks for the review, it was fun to read, hope to talk to you soon on MSN! toodles!

**Hollowheart13**: WHAT?! OUT OF HAND??! WHY YOUUUUUUUUUU!!! -hugs till becomes blue- :D there's your punishment Heart-chaaaaaaan! XD

**The First Time:** :) glad you liked it, hope you review again:-)

**Alanna-Twins**: TiC eh? Hmmm...funny! Sad thing is I find myself to be the only crazy one in my school, see, i'm in a catholic (just rebuilt) school with a HUGE population OOOOF...! 183 or something students and teachers...XS...So yeah...Ok, thanks for the review anyways luves! (meaning both twins! XD) PS: Yeaaah...kissing Byakuya is my dreeeam these days...-eyes lost in space-...-wakes up-: that and chocolate! XD

Ok you midgets! Get in line! Yes! Even you Mister I'm So Smart, Taichou with White Hair!

...-swish swish-...-silence-

...I was...jo...king?!! I DIDN'T MEAN TO CALL YOU A MIDGET!!! -runs away-

Oh and please _**REVIEW!!!**_

**_Thanks to y'all!_**


	14. Chapter XIII: Beds and what's on them

Hallo!!! Here it is! Tha best! Tha Nexto Capitulo!!! -gets muffled from continuing tirade by Muse-

Enjoy loves! -Muse bows, fangs glowing in the moonlight-

* * *

_All through this I had forgotten I was still in my underwear, Ichi was still wearing her weird lolita uniform, Kiya was still covered in green goo and...well Demonade was still pink._

_Think someone would notice? Naaah! We're incon...incan...inconspicrus...inconspicu...INCONSPICUOUS!...basically __**we **know how to keep a low profile._

_"Every woman for herself and God for all!" We chanted, hands out, forming a four pointed star towards the heavens._

_Right. Inconspicuous. That's us._

* * *

Ever heard of what people do when they either eat too much sugar or get drunk? 

Then you might know what it was like to travel with us.

I went to the front with Kiya, our left hand to our side acting as a make-believe sword, the second feeling the wall behind us...god knows why.

The rest of the girls braught up the rear, humming some sinister song under their breath as we slowly but surely approached our first target. ...the crazy one...Jingle Hair.

We pushed Kiya forward and she looked back at us with a pleading look.

"Go!" We chorused in whispers.

She stepped forward, face red and started doing...a BELLY DANCE?!...oh yeah...We'd told her to do that...whoops, I forgot about that...

Ichi and Demonade were whistling some arabian song from behind me to accompagny her and I snickered.

Zaraki lifted an eyebrow and his jaw slackened a bit.

"NOW!"

We all jumped on him...and...he didn't even move.

"Ken-chan...people are on your back." The little pink girl who had previously been on his back remarked down at us from her vantage point on the roof.

He nodded. "I can see that."

"Team 1! Teaser!"

Demonade took the teaser out and zapped Zaraki. He fell like a brick...squishing me.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!"

I couldn't breath yet I'd still managed to scream...which meant I had not one ounce of air left in my lungs.

"Please...help..." I begged the girls, feeling all my limbs die slowly of asphyxiation and crushed-ness.

The girls pushed Zaraki off us and then we all turned (yes, even me...even if I was a lot thinner than two minutes ago) to the pink devil looking at us work with avid curiosity.

"Hey pinky! Come 'ere."

Ichi mentioned her over and the girl frowned...then actually came! What a dork...!

Ichi signaled us to stay away and took the girl a bit to the side, whispering in her ear.

After a few seconds both of them smiled evilly and we shuddered.

"Is it me or is the air around here colder?" Kiya asked, looking at Demonade and I.

"It's you." We replied in sync.

Ichi came back alone, the girl having disappeared like these taichou's and fuku-taichous knew so well how to do...lucky bastards...

"What did you tell her?" Demonade asked curiosly.

Ichi grinned and I had a sudden bad feeling.

"Demonade stop up your ears." I warned but she ignored me.

"I told her everything Kiya would be doing to Zaraki, including the whip, chocolates and bloody shackles."

Demonade paled and...FAINTED! Nah...just kidding. She blinked and cheered.

"_Our wittle Kiya is finally all grown up!_" We said together, grinning back at Kiya who growled.

Finally we set off again, all of us huffing and puffing to drag that pig Zaraki behind us...goddoes he weight a TON or is it me?

"No no...he weights a ton." Demonade muttered and Ichi nodded. Kiya just ignored us.

We arrived back at the academy, tied Zaraki to Kiya's bed, hid his sword in a small storage room we'd found hidden behind a staircase and set off again.

One hour later we had Shunsui cuffed to a random bed (since Demonade had just arrived and she didn't have a room yet), Ichi struggliung against his bonds on Ichi's bed and was only left probably the hardest...

"Byakuya." We sighed together.

"Well..."

"men to whip..."

"People to tickle..."

I glared at all of them and blew out a breath. "Fine...get out of here."

Ichi, Kiya and Demonade squealed in sync and threw themselves into their rooms.

I felt my jaw slacken, just like Zaraki had done and then sweatdropped.

"O...kay..." I walked away, hearing suspicious noises from all three rooms...poor men! Bwahahaha!!!

Now...where do half crazy, completely mad, ice blocks go around the afternoon.

Cos yeah...What with all our planning, and prank-making, we had burned out all the morning and most of the afternoon.

So...yeah...back to my question...

"If I was a mad, sword wielding, super being with a hot ass and a face to melt for where would I hide?" I wondered aloud, tapping my lip.

A cold wind...an ominious feeling...HUGE power washing over me...damn...he's right behind me isn't he?

I slowly turned around and my eyes bugged out.

"WAH! I found you! Zaraki-jingle-bells taichou, Ichigo-baka, Pervert-chan are all taken hostage by my fri...by these insane girls!"

I hoped he hadn't noticed my slip on 'friends'. yeep...

He scrutinized me and I think I drooled because by the time I stepped out of my daydream (me **plus** him **equals** X rated scenes...and candy!) he was walking away towards the rooms.  
I just hoped the girls wouldn't be doing embarassing things...like telling awful jokes. The fact that they might be doing some _adult_ stuff with the men tied to their beds didn't even cross my mind! I _swear_!

"What are you doing here?" Byakuya questioned softly, his deadly voice making me shiver.

"Well...if you must know..." I started then stopped when we came to the three doors and heard...banging noises...and a creaking bed...and a muffled cry for help...

"Hold on...just a sec..." I said and went forward.

"Girls?"

Muttered curses from all the rooms, locks tumbling and out came three flushed women.  
Kiya looked like she just got shot by a extremely high voltage lightning, Ichi didn't look much better except she even had..._feathers_ on her shirt and Demonade...well...let's just say her normally impeccable pink hair could now be considered a rat's nest...

"Just _what_ is going on around here?" Byakuya inquired demandingly.

I guessed he'd seen that in all three rooms there lay a taichou trussed up like a helpless plushies.

I turned to the girls, also curious.

"Well..." Ichi began.

"You see..."

"Ichi was having a bad dream...from what I heard she'd become the strawberry dude and then she-turned-strawberry-dude had kissed...was it Grimmy?! I could hear her even through our pillow fight." Kiya commented, examining her nails.

"Well is it my fault the walls are so thin?! Besides, I wasn't the only one making noise! What with those two _hentais_ next door exchanging email addresses, tickling each other while giggling like little girls and conversing about PORNO MANGA!"

And it went like hell from there.

The girls stood bickering...the men were looking at Byakuya and us pleadingly...I was just standing there, holding in my need to laugh like hell (and instead humming some sappy chick song...that always works to kill laughter...XS) and Byakuya...let's just say he looked blank...cos he sure as hell looked like a stoic-ice-cube-gone-shocked-by-so-much-unusualness mode.

"And why are _you_ here?" He asked again, probably looking for someone normal.

"I'm here to shag your brains out, scare a few fuku taichous and lead the world with my army of black and red spotted bats."

* * *

Tadaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! 

Sorry I haven't updated in so long!!! School's been keeping me BUSY! I had Science test this morning, on the structure of the earth. Enveloppes and all that stuff.

Anyways!

**Hollowheart13**: XD, that dream is good! lol! Whos Grimmy already...Oh yeah! The dude that gets his arm cut off right? huggles!

**Demonade**: tickle tickle tickle!!! XD! Hope you liked this chapter! Toodles!

**bloody-Ribbon**: COOKIE! -gulps cookie down in one gulp and looks up at bloody-ribbon with hopeful eyes-

**consumed by rage : **Thanks:D

**carmondomon**: Ooh! I've just started a roleplay with two friends of mine...plane crash, stranded on an island! XD...it's gonna be keraaaaazy! Huggles!


	15. Chapter XIV: The End!

Hello ladies and gentlemen!

Muse: O.O ...she didn't say ladies and jerks! OMG!

Me: . ...anyways, I'm sorry for the late update, I'm been so busy, last week had all these exams the WHOLE week long! XS, but now i'm on hols:P

Ok, so hope this chapter isn't too bad, huggles y'all and good readin':D

Chapter 15

* * *

_The girls stood bickering...the men were looking at Byakuya and us pleadingly...I was just standing there, holding in my need to laugh like hell (and instead humming some sappy chick song...that always works to kill laughter...XS) and Byakuya...let's just say he looked blank...cos he sure as hell looked like a stoic-ice-cube-gone-shocked-by-so-much-unusualness mode._

_"And why are you here?" He asked again, probably looking for someone normal._

_"I'm here to shag your brains out, scare a few fuku taichous and lead the world with my army of black and red spotted bats."_

* * *

Byakuya didn't even blink. 

I waited.

He waited.

Still not blinking...my eyes were getting red and irritated.

'Shit...when's he gonna blink?! I can't hold it so well anymore...' I growle inwardly.

Sheeeee-it!

I blinked. I saw his lips tilt. Jerk.

Hey! Wasn't I supposed to distract him in order to kidnap him and do lots of stuff to him coming from my wildest fantasies?!

"What is shag?" Byakuya finally asked, looking thoroughly annoyed at not knowing something like that.  
Couldn't blame him. If he'd never shagged...hmmmmmmm...i could educated him...

"Yumi! Stop looking so perverted! You're scaring Byakuya!"

I looked up from my thoughts. Man...he _did_ look a bit green.

"Well. Let me explain. The verb to shag is rather...complicated to demonstrate."

I lent into his ear and proposed a few scenarios for him to understand.  
He stayed stoic...damn he's hot...how does he do that?!

"I see."

No more from those rosy lips. Yeesh...I sound like some sappy chick or something.

Now you're thinking what could possible happen now? Haven't we become nice and crazy enough?

Can't wejust be zapped back to our homeland (the land of Craziness Times 4) or something?  
I'm pretty sure all the taichous we were currently holding hostage were thinking that...maybe not Byakuya, he was the only one standing and not being sexually harrassed by deranged teenage fans.

"You know. You're lucky you don't live in my world, you would currently be lying shirt-less on your back with three or four women trying to rip some pieces of your hair out." I remarked to Byakuya calmly, grabbing Ichi off from poor Ichigo and looking the guy over.  
His orange hair was mussed up, his black and white kimono off his left shoulder and his eyes showed pure fear.

"You poor thing." I stated before letting Ichi go again.

She immediately jumped Ichigo again who gargled with fright and tried to fight...

"Resistance is futile.." I thought I heard coming from Ichi but then I decided I didn't really want to know.

A huge resounding BOOM! made all of us stop and look towards some high buildings and I saw a huge red flame coming from there, along with black smoke.

"Holy cow!"

Byakuya looked to the other taichous and they nodded, stepping out of our clutches as if we'd suddenly lost all, if we'd had any, power over them.

"Isn't that the dudes who suck people's souls out?" Kiya asked, looking at her prisonner walking off with sadness.

I blinked. "Then let's get this show on the road! Cricket get the bags!" I shouted, rushing after my man...umm...Byakuya-chan Taichou!

"Oi!" The girls followed behind me, panting.

When we arrived at the scene of the crime (ta na na naaaaaaaa), there was...absolutely nothing.

Just a building or two destroyed but that was it. and a bit of smoke.

Ok...a LOT of smoke.

"YURI! Get down!"

I looked up and felt my jaw drop; this huge...FISH was swimming right at me! HOLY COW!... I _hate_ fish...

A warm, speeding hunk of something threw itself at me and I fell to the ground with an 'oof' of surprise, all the air pushed out of my lungs.

I couldn't stop myself...i grabbed the hunk of hot man on top of me and kissed him.

Byakuya-chan-taichou stood stock still, shocked then quickly jumpde off when a projectile nearly crushed us both and went back to fight, his Zanpaktu already scattered.

I blinked...and marveled at how he had felt so nice on top of me...eeep! That sounded so wrong even in my head!

"Damn...he didn't return the kiss...why is life so unfair?" I lamented, punching the ground with a fist.

"Yuri get up before you get killed!" Deamonade yelled, grabbing my arm and pulling me towards the shelter she and the girls had found...that is to say in between to collapsing walls who, if hit with a simple fist...would come crmbling down on us.

The battle raged on for a bit and the girls and I got more and more bored.

"You know...I have to admit...he's got a nice ass."

All the taichous had gone to fight _their_ bad guys and we were left with MY taichou and the girls commenting on how nice his ass was!

"No touchy! He'sssss MINE!" I told them, making a remarkably good impression of gollum.

"What have we here?" A cruel voice whispered in the dark behind us.

I shrieked and jumped backwards, my elbow hitting something hard enough to make it crack. The thing...not my elbow.

The girls sprinted out of there but I curled around my elbow, moaning in pain.

I looked up and glared. Hot-Assed-Traitor-Kun!

He smiled eerily down at me; he slowly reached for me, my body unable to move.  
WHAT THE HELL?

Then I saw it...he had a seringe in his hand and it was empty...and I swore I'd felt something prick my neck when I'd plopped down next to the girls for cover.

"Nooooo!" The girls yelled when they saw it wasn't me right behind them but some stray dog barking madly. (apparently it thought they were playing with him).

Jeez...thanks girls...you mistook me for a dog!

"Sleep."

I glared back at him, wanting to punch him in the face and break his lovely little nose.

"You..."I stopped, my whole body felt like it was sinking in the ground.

And from the face Hot-Assed-Traitor-Kun was making, he apparently wasn't expecting this either.

I grabbed madly at him, fear striking me but only the tips of my fingertips snagged his kimono before I was violently pulled down, kicking and screaming against invisible bonds.

It was pitchblack and I was pissed scared.

"Honey..."

I froze. "..time to wake up!...school...late...bus..."

I squeezed my eyes then when I opened them I recoiled from the sudden light.

What the...

I looked around. I was back in my room, my giant poster of Byakuya and Ichi staring down at me from the wall.

My hand was darn sore and I looked down, realizing I had been holding onto something so hard it had cut my palm.

I opened up my hand and bit my lip.

There were two things. A small piece of Byakuya's Zanpaktu, which was what had cut my skin, and a ripped piece of Aizen's kimono.

I held it to my heart and sighed. Well...here was PROOF that i hadn't imagined the whole thing...well that and all my bruises and uts...man how was I going to explain this to my mom?!

_**'Camera zooms out, to an outside view of the house'**_

"Oh my god! YURI! How did you get so messed up?! Did you get raped? Answer me! Oh my god oh my god, Albert! What will we do?!"

"Mooom..."

"Darling, I'm sure she's fine..."

"How can you say that?! She might have been kidnapped..!"

"I'm right here..."

"If he had kidnapped her wouldn't she still be there?...damn...I'm missing my morning series..."

"But mom..."

"Are you listening to me Albert? Your daughter has been DEFLOWERED!"

_**'Zoom out again...'**_

"MOM!!!"

...The End

* * *

THA END!!

I didn't know how to end it so this ending is rather crappy... :s

Anyways, thank you all to my faithful reviewers, hope you aren't too disappointed in this crappy ending;

**Shiroby**: Hey! What's that supposed to mean?! -sticks tongue out-

**Darkangel211101**: lol, I love the tazer...XD...and tazering people is fun too! You should try it, it's exhilirating.

**carmondomon**: LOL, must have been fun! XD

**Alanna-Twins (Zorba)**:p , yeah, she was supposed to surprise Byakuya but...I forgot! XD thanks for the review love, and once again, sorry for the late update:s

**Bloody-ribbon**: LOL! ooooh! CHOCOLATE CAKE!!!! -glomps Bloody-ribbon- I loooove you!! -munches happily, grinning, chocolate all over face-

**_Thank you all!!!_**


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